Woodstock's NAStiCAR takes flight

I've obtained Woodstock a few years ago, from a customer going through a bad divorce. I had worked on her car throughout the years, and she came in one day very distraught, I had asked her what was wrong. She replied that she was getting a divorce and her husband refused to help with the car. So I worked with her to patch the car up as she was totally dependent on her husband up to this point. Throughout the year it took to finalize the divorce, her car would mysteriously not start in the morning, have flat tires, and "graffiti" sprayed on it on multiple occasions. I found things such as, a cut wire for the fuel pump, missing valve cores, a cut drive belt, and the list went on and on. I filled out an affidavit stating these mysterious findings, and fortunately I did not have to appear in court. The day after the divorce was final, she asked me to come and get his "racecar" and stated she was buying a new car and wanted it in the garage.
I have sat on this car for a few years, and have done absolutely nothing to it. While brainstorming one day at lunch, Josh said "what are you ever gonna do with that Grand Prix? Let's make it a LeMons racer." We then pulled it out of the garage, and noticed that the birds had made their home above it. Boy was it nasty!! This was the inspiration for the name NAStiCAR. I put a battery in it and started it up, only to find a serious miss. I ran a compression test on the motor and found no compression on cylinders 3 and 7. Upon removing the engine and tearing it down, I found broken piston rings and ring lands. The rest of the motor looked pristine. Fortunately, much to my wife's chagrin, I've been a Pontiac pack rat for all of my adult life. I went through my Pontiac garage and hit pay dirt. A complete set of mismatched pistons and rods!